A Paint in the Neck

"I paint objects as I think them, not as I see them."  -Pablo Picasso

Dr. X and I both agree: the paint color is gorgeous.  It's rich, it's warm... it harkens back to the age of leather bound books and men in smoking jackets... it's everything that we could want!  The finish, however... well.  Flat paint is never practical on the walls of a high traffic area, and you NEVER use a semi-gloss on a wall (unless you've got a pair of sunglasses for everyone who enters the room... and all your taste happens to be in your mouth)... so "satin" seemed the appropriate choice.  You hear the word "satin" and you think, "Mmmmm... soft, supple... ever so beautiful."  What fails to come to mind, however, is the word "shiny." 

Sherwin-Williams makes some great paint.  I am happy with the coverage and with the quality... don't get me wrong.  What I'm currently having a problem with is my inability to visualize their final product.  I paint things as I think of them, not as I see them, just like Picasso said.  I paint a room, see the color and think, "This is going to be perfect!  Just what I want!" all while failing to see what is right in front of me: a shiny coat of paint that shows off EVERY. SINGLE. FLAW. 

I stopped by the Sherwin-Williams store again today and talked with my friend, Joelle, about what could be done to rectify the problem (she's kind of becoming my Yoda of wall finishing).  First of all, I learned I need to paint CORRECTLY.  Edge in the wall, then paint it... one wall at a time... don't go to the crazy place and paint the ENTIRE room without even edging it in.  This leads to bad, bad things.  Second, learn the meaning of the different paint finishes for the company you are buying from.  What I was looking for was the "Matte" finish... slight luster, but not DEAD FLAT... which is, as discussed previously, highly impractical.  Finally... and this is important... it's just paint.  It can be painted over... And while this may be a pain in the neck, it's not the end of the world. 

I'm going to edge in the room, do a rough sanding of the paint that is there, and apply a second coat to see if it is any better.  I know it won't be any less shiny (paint gets shinier the more coats you add), but... maybe it will help hide some of the flaws in the room.  And in the meantime, I will keep telling myself, "This can be fixed.  It's just paint." 

First Time Homewrecker, Long Time Listener...

Now, I know what you're thinking, and... No, it's NOT what you're thinking. I'm not getting involved in an extramarital affair; I'm not someone's mistress (mister?), and I'm not the proverbial "piece on the side."  This blog has nothing to do with that... It does, however, have to do with breaking up a home in a very literal sense.

I have been hired by a man whom we shall refer to as "Dr. X" (no, not of X-Men fame... though wouldn't that be AWESOME?!) to renovate his home in return for free room and board.  It seems like a match made in heaven, really...  He needs work done, I need a place to live... I have a great eye for design and a rudimentary understanding of home renovations... a basic understanding... a crude understanding... I watch a lot of HGTV, does that count?

The reality of the matter is this:  I do know what I'm doing when it comes to most projects around the home, but there is going to be a very STEEP learning curve for a few of them.  I'm not really great with power tools (to be frank, most of them scare the piss out of me), I can't tell you the difference between a hacksaw and a bone saw (I know one of them is used in a hospital setting... I'm guessing the hacksaw), and I am not the most adept when it comes to plumbing and electrical wiring (I was always taught you hire people for that).  I guess it's a good thing I'm a quick learner. 

I'm about a month into the project and thus far, it has been a great experience.  I've gotten to re-plaster a ceiling, remove some baseboards and flooring (I'm handy with a crowbar, in case you ever need backup in a gang fight) and I've just started painting the room (the color is Sherwin-Williams' "Leather Bound," which, when in the can, could easily also be called "Baby Shite").  I thought maybe it would be fun (or stupid, or insane... only time will tell) to start a blog to show my process and keep track of my adventures in homewrecking... homewreckery?

 In the beginning, there was dust... lots and lots of dust...

 A few remnants of old wall paper and protective paper from the floor. Fun story: This house was built in 1850, and wasn't insulated. In the 1950's, as a way to keep the house warm, the homeowner CARPETED the walls in this house... seriously. Every room. This room had a blue, sculpted carpet.

 There used to be a wood stove in that little alcove. The previous homeowners (of carpeting fame) started to remove the chimney years ago and instead of properly removing the debris just dropped the bricks down inside the remains of the chimney... This space will have a vent-free gas stove or fireplace... that has yet to be determined.

 The beautiful bay window that faces the street.

The corner that has all those bits of old wallpaper (there were LAYERS) will have library style built ins with architectural molding and accent rope lighting (behind the moldings).

 See that crowbar? I used that to pry up layers of awful linoleum tile... and possibly asbestos tile... the jury's still out on that one... But I did it!  And remember:  call me if you need backup in that gang fight... I am fierce and mighty!

 More of my lovely little mess... this is fun! :D

 Did I mention LAYERS of wallpaper? And horsehair plaster/lath walls... And I've been cutting out and installing electrical boxes... they're a bit crooked, but... I'll fix them!

 The radiators in this room have been removed... one of them was filled with a LOVELY brackish water that went all down my leg and shoe... I looked like I had juts survived the BP oil spill...

A little blue box? No, it's not a TARDIS... it's one of the electrical boxes I installed! I USED POWER TOOLS! :D

 Radiator be gone! This is the little devil that made me look like a baby duck in an oil spill...

 Textured plaster ceiling. I did all this work by myself. It covers a multitude of sins (did I mention the ceiling was cracked?) and it adds visual interest to the room.

 Another view of the ceiling (and the accent light over the fireplace area).

 The first tragedy... this is the molding that I broke when I was removing the baseboards from the area surrounding the fireplace... with the crowbar... Bollocks! Nothing a little Liquid Nails, some wood putty and a fresh coat of paint can't fix... right?  And if I did that to woodwork, well... just remember two words: Gang. Fight.

First coat of the wall color!  It fits with my theme for the room... You can also see where I removed the plaster over the chimney... I love the look of the old, exposed brick. Going to clean it up a bit and seal it so it doesn't erode... more than it already has.

 I can't wait to get the built ins installed... this corner makes me sad... But see that little area with that dreadful wood paneling? We're going to put one of the radiators in there and hide it behind some decorative grating... second heat source for the room! :D

And... more of the paint color. Thanks to the good people at Sherwin-Williams for this wonderful color! One more coat and we'll be golden!  Or, rather... brown.  Golden brown... Something like that.

Stay tuned for more shenanigans!